Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
