I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
