Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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