so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry about my life...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
