Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
