why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
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