after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
