The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
