you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
