She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
