Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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