Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
