if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
