dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
