im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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