Me. At least after what I've been through.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
