So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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