Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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