We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
