that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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