Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
