so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
