lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
