i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
