hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
