youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
