I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
