mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How naked do you want me to be?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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