yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
