just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
