That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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