Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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