I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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