I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
