it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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