Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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