I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
