But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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