Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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