First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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