I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
false alarm. still invincible.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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