I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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