It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
This is my life. Enjoy the view
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
