You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
