What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
