i just google imaged poop.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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