so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
