Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
