just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just high enough for therapy.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
