This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
