a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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