honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
