You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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