How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
